Yuan's guide to Stalking
by Kasan Soulblade
Summary: light hearted silly fic alert, spoilers alert!After many bumps and bruises a blue haired 12 elf learns the mistake of taking on a role he is ill suited to.


To my readers,

Serious fic, silly fic, back and forth... Guess I'm striving for a writing balance huh? Any how I had this on a forum I used to frequent, as it is I took it down and added adjustments so that it reads easier and is a little longer, it's a one shot though I am working on a serious fic title "Renegade Mentality" -right now RM is in a contest under a different title when the contests over I'll stick it here- and a humurous fic called "First Mission". This fic does not tie into "Shards" it's just a silly piece that wont fit in that behometh fic I'm writing,"Stalking" follows an optional part of the game that you get to see if you have high relationships with the various characters and frequent inns. The only reason I ever saw it was becuase I was trying to figure out the whole "luck" stat. As always enjoy.

Kasan Soulblade,

Some people weren't meant to be stalkers... It was a long lesson, slow in comming, and in his case perhaps more slow in it's comming then for most others.

Flexing his fingers, setting the gloves to crinkling against his skin he crouched under a window in the back of the pheonix inn. He pressed on pointed ear against a crack in the wall, a crack he had made with his dagger, and his hearing was enough so that the small slitwas all he needed. Even as he evsedropped on the girl child, his target words of determination filtered through his mind. He wasn't going to fail this time! This time he had to do it, he had to succeed. There was too much at stake to allow another failure to come to pass. Adjusting his cloak behind him the half elf heard another familiar voice form the room he eavesdropped on now. He winced as the voice brought back several painful memories, and it was in this moment the begining of his revelation decended, as fast and hard as the staff that the woman made him think of...  
_  
"Ekkk! Raine there's some werido in our room!" _

"You pervert!" In the midnight gloom he had not seen the staffs decent but he had certianly felt it. Dazed by the hit Yuan staggered out of the small room in Triet's inn. The woman was coming after him, shrieking that she was going to casterate him. For the first time in centuries Yuan was scared, that woman would follow through with her threats if she captured him, he knew that. He ran into the next room, and was startled to see that the young woman within was his target. Gods, he was going to kill Botta, that fool had given him the wrong room! He approached the young woman, she looked at him, confused. She yawned, rubbed her eyes, then blinked when he did not magically disappear.

"Oh hello, I'm sorry but this is my room..."

"I'm well aware of that." He drew a knife from his belt.

She saw the knife, and her eyes went wide. The little boys screams had been loud, but this girls were so shrill he could feel his eardrums break. She shrieked in terror, hopped back. Yuan cursed his enhanced hearing, for what was painful to a normal ear was a torment to his changed ears. In surprise and from excruciating pain he staggered back, her follow up shreik made him clutch his ears and whimper even as he retreated. Yuan should have closed the door behind him, as it was he hadn't. He toppled out into the hall in his mindless retreat, right into the range of the elf woman and her staff.

"You leave my students alone!" The staff connected once. "You sick..." another hit... "perverted..." Gods where did this woman get such a good aim... "son of a..." Yuan brought his arms around to shield his head from more blows and made a break for it. He ran down the stairs, tripped on the rug by the front door. Two male voices from outside broke off in a conversation, he could hear them coming back to the inn.

"Damn!" He growled under his breath as scrambled to his feet. As he managed to stand the door slammed open, Yuan was knocked back yet again and watched from behind the door as two swordsmen charged into the inn.

"Colette, Professor, what's going on?"

"Are you alright?" Yuan mentally cursed, he knew the speaker far too well.

"Kratos... There was this strange elf in my room!"

The girl sounded like she was in tears. From his unglamourous hiding spot Yuan snorted. That was a mistake.

"Hush, did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"I heard it too... it came from behind the door."

Crap! I can't be seen, he'll know and...

"No form the closet, it came from the closet!" There was a thud from somewhere to the right. Some animal must be trapped in the closet and was making a racket. Thank the higher powers for their sense of justice.

"I could have sworn..." Kratos muttered.

"Come on! Let's get him! No one hurts Colette while I'm around!"

"Lloyd, wait!"

Now! Drawing his cloak over his head Yuan charged from his hiding spot, but he had miscalculated. The woman with the staff had not run off with the others. She blocked him from making it out the door, her staff whistled through the air. He barely managed to dodge the hit that would have laid him out on the floor, then spotting a kitchen sheathed his dagger and made a brake for it. If the half elf had any sympathy for her kinsmen she would let him go, certianly he had suffered enough...

"Kratos, Lloyd, he's going for the back door!"

There were two voices that snarled oaths, Yuan heard them turning around, coming after him. But he managed to cut through the kitchen, and get out the inn through the back door unscathed. Well at least he thought he was unscathed until the scent of burning fabric told him otherwise. Cursing he ripped his cloak off, hopped up and down on it, until the fires were extinguished.

Then of course there was the incident at Asguard, he had slipped into the room, a little surprised that the adults would be alowing the swordsman and the Chosen to share a room. It didn't mater though, what mattered was that the boy slept like a rock. No one would hear him do the work, no alarm would be rised, he'd slash the girls throat and it would be over with... Or so he thought.

_"Halt!" _

Steel snapped through the air. He hopped back, surprised to see the mercenary rise out of the blankets like a nightmare. It didn't help that the man's tunic was off, thank the merciful gods that that was all he wasn't wearing. Having no choice but to run he went for the door. The younger swordsman had taken the floor, had given his elder the bed, he sat up looking stupidly around. Yuan staggered over the boy, slammed into the door, it swung open, revealing a sight that had haunted his nightmares since Triet.

"You again!"

He could have said the same thing.

_The staff decended, gods wasn't there a time when the woman wasn't armed? He ran, took a few hits, and made a brake for the stairs. The Chosen looked at him stupidly from across the hall, and he should have just done the deed then and there. The crazed woman with the staff was right behind him though. She was already hollering that she was going to grind off his maleness for bothering them again. Him bothering them? They weren't the ones covered in bruises, suffering from searing headaches, and psycho half elves after them shrieking in obscene detail the torments that would be inflicted on him when he was caught. He scrambled in the last stair, landed sprakled out on the common room floor, the woman was right behind him. She smacked him on the rump with her staff several times. Was she... spanking him? If it hadn't hurt so much he might have been laughing at the total stupidity of that thought. As it was he yalpped in pain, and made yet another unglamourous retreat out into the night.  
_  
Then there was the incident in PalmaCosta where his informants had sent him to the wrong inn... And the woman who's room he had intruded on had been a chief. His head ached as he recalled the ringing blow to the head she had delivered to him via a skillet. And then that other incident in Asguard, and then all those times at the Houses of Salvation. He sat their for a long moment, then in horror counted up all the failed attempts on his hands, and found that he would have needed to barrow a whole set of hands and a foot just to cover all his blotched attempts. His cloak, he had gone to none of his offices to re-stock on anything. It bore the scorch marks of fire, of lighting mana, a few holes from knife thrusts, and his armor had two slash marks delivered from twin blades.

He wondered, just a bit bitterly if they made bets on who he was going to harass at each inn. He wouldn't have been surprised.

For a long moment he considered going in yet again, then he rubbed his aching scalp. Not everyone was cut out to be an assassin, he finally admitted to himself. Certainly not himself. But maybe he had someone else who was suited to the job, certainly after so many wrong leads he deserved a little punishment. Yuan walked away from Luin's inn, then walked out of town. On the edge of Luin he drew out a small phone.

"Put me through to Botta..." There was a wait, then a familiar voice said the password, Yuan in return said the counter password. Formalities done the Renegade leader decided it was time to get even with his subordinate. "Botta, I have something to tend to, I need you to take over with assassinating the Chosen. She's in Luin, the Phoenix inn, I want her dealt with tonight. Take my rhieard."

"But sir... certainly you should deal with the..."

"No Botta, don't argue just get down here." Yuan considered offering a warning, then decided against it. "Consider this punishment for the last false lead."

"Sir being intrusted with such a task would be an honor, not a punishment."

"Good man." Yuan smirked, fought down his laughter. "Get over here as fast as you can, I need to tend to something in Derris Kharlan, so I will be out of touch. Good luck on your new assignment Botta."

"Thank you sir."

"No, thank _you_. Oh, and bring gels, lots and _lots_ of gels, you will be needing them I imagine."

"Sir?"

"Nevermind Botta, just get down here, Yuan out."


End file.
